What is Love?
I guess that's what every 20-29 y.o girl would ask. What is the meaning of love? Have we ever felt it before? Was our past relationship with our exes close to love?
It is in these golden years that women are forced to learn about loving someone, and if lucky, be loved in return. Sometimes, we are so focused on playing the game until we forget who ourselves are. We are so driven into finding the perfect one who will share the same passion, and goals - and sometimes we will change our passion just to make the person you love, love you more.
It's true, love is a battlefield - There are tactics, and there are game plans.
If you play it wrong, love becomes tiring, love becomes confusing, and love becomes draining.
To all the girls who have been in a long term relationship, congratulations. You have made a man stick around with you for quiet a while and that's a good game plan.
But to all the girls who were lied to, you are not alone. You meet this great guy with good potential- you doubt him at first but then you get to know him and he tried everything to make you fall for him. And the shitty part is - when you do, they get bored and leave, giving you 1001 reasons on why they're leaving.
"oh we don't have the same vision"
"I don't think our personalities match"
"it's not you, it's me"
"I'm not ready to commit"
"you are so worth it, but I'm not the guy for you right now"
"I'm broken, you're perfect"
blablablablabla, am I right?
The truth is, they just lost the spark. They lost the attraction and the only way to make you not feel like shit is to say all these things. But guys, we're not stupid. We know you're bored, why can't you just tell us the truth? We're not teenagers anymore, we can handle the truth.
The saddest part of this is what they don't know how it affect girls. How it affects our self worth, and it makes us feel that we're not beautiful enough, good enough, smart enough for those assholes. (pardon my french)
And the only question that will be on a girl's mind is -
Why was it so easy for you to let me go?
And the waiting game starts. We wait for their texts or calls, wondering maybe they will want us back if we give them space. but the truth is ladies,
If they want to be with you, they will be with you.
If they want to talk to you, they will talk to you. The thing is - they don't and that's where you have to understand that you've lost.
Love is harsh, and you've lost the game. Your game plan and their game plan did not match. But it's totally OK, it's not the end of the world.
What I've learnt from my past experiences is that, only time will heal your wound. You can tell everyone about how much you are hurting but the pain will not go away. And your only medication is gone. It's like a drug addict on rehab. You just have to wait it out.
But for me, I didn't stay in my room for that long. I started doing things - sports, activities, and socializing. Why should we waste our life for someone who doesn't even care about us?
Why should we love someone who aren't even willing to love us back?
I started remembering who I was, and discovered more of myself. I started meeting new people and make new friends.
I met this guy once in Hong Kong while I was out with my friends, then we went on a date the next day. Turns out he was a graduate of psychology major. I guess you can call it fate, and fate was knocking on my door to open my eyes. We started talking and he realized that I was recently hurt by someone because I was bitter and very negative towards every flirt, and every move he tried to make. Then he held my face and said,
"Stephanie, you have so much confidence in you yet you don't even know it. Relax and let go, and people will be drawn to you."
This changed my perspectives on everything, that one random guy shed a light to my life. And I'm going to tell you the same thing
You are a confident woman, believe in yourself and see the changes around you.
After that date, we said goodbye and I never talked to him again but his words stayed in my heart. And so I did let go, I embraced my confidence and I literally started to see the change in myself. I was able to talk to anyone I wanted, made anyone I wanted approach me. I became happier and free. I'm not gonna lie and say my pain is gone. It's still there and I'm still grieving, but the pain I feel keeps me moving forward.
I guess I should thank that asshole who broke my heart.
Because you left, I found myself. And that is something I will never find from being with you.
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