I hate you

There will be days where I don't find it difficult to live a life without you.
and when I feel like everything is going great, I go back to my own dark zone.

It is like my heart is not allowing me to forget about you, to stop loving you.
Whenever I think I'll be okay and that I'm content with how I feel about you, I fuck up and miss you even more.

Where did all of this go wrong? What the hell did I do? Everyday I think about this and try to dig and dig and dig to find the answer.

Maybe one day I'll understand, but for now I am unable to accept the fact that your feelings just went away that quick. I thought you were different, I thought finally I am able to be comfortable with someone.

I never realized how bad you made me feel. I am traumatized by your love. I am unable to love now, and I think love is bullshit. I don't believe anything a guy tells me now and it's all because of you and your fake promises and your crappy smile.

that fucking smile.

I hate your two front teeth.
I hate your green eyes and how your pupils are big at night and small in the afternoon.
I hate your deep voice and how it calms me down when I listen to you talk.
I hate your cheeky laugh.
I hate your ability to talk back at my sarcasm.
I hate your neatly done blonde hair.
I hate your perfume smell.
I hate your muscles.
I hate your affections towards me everytime we see each other.

I hate your everything.