The Littlest Things

It's been weeks and I thought I was getting myself back, I thought I was getting better.

But you keep coming back, even if it's just once every two weeks, that shitty "hey how are you doing", I would fall back down again.

Why do I keep remembering the good parts and not the bad parts? What the hell did you do to me?

You know how much I love you? I love you so much until I notice the littlest things about you. And I'm pretty sure you never notice my littlest things.

I notice that you bite your tongue when you're being cheeky and smiling.
I notice the way you dance when we go out together, that little arm shuffle that you do.
I notice that you get cranky if you don't have your coffee yet.
I notice that you're very quiet during midday and get very talkative in the evening.
I notice that you turn your alarm off 4 times before you really get up.
I notice that you like to watch random documentaries in youtube.
I notice the way you style your hair every morning, you blow dry it, and gel it.
I notice your little sneaky pout when you're trying to make fun of me.
I notice that professional attitude you have when you talk to your work colleagues.
I notice that you want to be so successful and rich, you would do anything to make that come true.
I notice that you read self enriching books about success.
I notice that you like to make your bed before you leave your place.

But you know what else I noticed?

I noticed you didn't remember my birthday.
I noticed you didn't remember the foods that I like.
I noticed you still talked to other girls.
I noticed you never had the interest in my life, never asked unless I told.
I noticed you never pay attention on my worries and my problems.
I noticed you didn't care on how I felt about anything.
I noticed you didn't remember my passion in life.
I noticed you stopped looking at me the way you did in January.
I noticed you didn't want to see me or talk to me as much as I did.
I noticed you never said the word 'I love you" when I have said in millions of times.

I noticed that I love you a hundred times more than you love me.